My text to my elder sister at a lil past 2am.

Hi ate good morning. Sorry sa late reply. I was asleep almost the entire day yesterday cuz im exhausted. The thing is,i lov our parents so much. They are the reason why ive been working my ass off for years and they are the huge part of my hopes. It's just that they have always let me down and ive grown tires of it. Juat recently momy told me things that im disgusting and that i may have had sexual assault wc is why im sizing up a lot. Which mother wud tel her daughter that?? And dat night wen i visited u there,i went wid maroi in qc to hand dada some groceries and to introduce mario. I've always wanted for dem to know mario becuz im proud of the guy that i have. And i was boastingto him how good of a father dada is. But wen we came der,he'd barely even talked wid us. And iv been asking about his health and trying to engage in a conversation with him,he wud barely even look at me. Im hurt as hell that they'd do that to me. Wen ive always been the one who has taken over most responsibility. Ive always been happy helping and shelling out. Khit pg wala akong mabibigay. Wen dada got sick i even had to go to libis to ask money from a friend to send to dem. theynver appreciated me. They nver talked to me the way they do to other people and my other siblings. And wen mom talks shit on me, i always beg for her not to throw me words and to have more care for my feelings. She nver remembered that. Ive always wanted to spend new year wid my family again but on new year's eve they ddnt even greet me. Im shattered wid all these word-fights with our two siblings but im just so full of angst all these time that i had to let them out or ill go crazy. No one's been looking aftr me. I deserve more love than im getting,u know. And since ive not been getting love but only hurtful words,i'd rather not give out love na din. As wid monetary help,im not withdrawing that. But my salary has gone slim because of a new payroll setup. I cnt give as much as ive been giving. Among all of us,im d one who has rent and bills to pay. All by myself. No one understands that,not even our parents. They only understand their needs and forgot i have needs also. Im shattered by all these. Im not usually a person who doesnt care bout family,i do so much. But i have to care for myself and my needs and my future too,as no one else is caring for me. No respect,no wanting.